Posts Tagged ‘personal growth’

If you follow the instructions,
it will feel like you are walking off a cliff…
Do it anyway, 
it’s worth the ride.



With Thanksgiving just around the corner, the theme everywhere seems to be ‘appreciation and gratitude’.

The devastation which is left behind after divorce can take it’s toll..

With tornadoes of emotional pain, constant hurricanes of financial issues and floods of unwanted stress, we often wonder how we’re supposed to find gratitude amongst this ugly mess we call divorce.

Sure, over time, things do get better, but if it’s just the beginning, or it’s taking a while for things to fall into place, it can be a challenge to find that grateful spirit so many push during this time of year.

Thanksgiving is a holiday geared around family traditions…and if you are divorced, your old traditions may only be with you in memory…

Some people may not realize how much divorce uproots a persons life.

Although my divorce has been over for six years, it never really goes away. I have children with my ‘X’ and so I must interact with him more often than I’d like…and yes, yes, I know, I should try to be friends…believe me, I’ve been there and I tried that for a while…no takers on the other end so it is a very separate relationship…

No Demi Moore and Bruce Willis fantasy here…. I suppose it’s simpler this way.

But, that isn’t really my biggest challenge.

It’s actually finding out what I should be thankful for this week, when starting last year, my children and I will never spend another Thanksgiving together until they are eighteen (or older).


Well, what would any divorced person be thankful for on Thanksgiving?

This is what I came up with (for starters):

1. My children are lucky enough to have a father who wants to spend time with them
2. My children are also lucky to have step-siblings they enjoy spending time with when they are there

3. I have them on Halloween, half the summer, every other Christmas and every other day of the year besides spring break!!!    That is something to be grateful for!!!!!

4. A warm home
5. Good health
6. Clean, running water
7. The right to choose, vote, speak my opinions and practice my religion
8. Love
9. Life
10. The freedom to divorce 😉
11. Second chances
12. The opportunity to rebuild

…Not to mention, a mini vacation from being Mom.

You can see that even with the divorce, I still have plenty to be thankful for.

So this Thanksgiving, consider your divorce ‘an inconvenience to appreciate’ because not everyone gets a second chance to build a new life, or rebuild at all…

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.  ~ Brian Tracy

After Every Natural Disaster….Somehow People Always Find the Courage to Rebuild

What are You Thankful for???

Growth Through Divorce

Posted: August 29, 2011 in Intro
Tags: , ,

National Geographic

Not often do we appreciate the growth we encounter during divorce.

Nine times out of ten, it’s because we are resentful and wish it had never happened.

Not every divorce can be easy, but take solace in the fact that when we are done with this awful journey, there will be a reward at the end; a rebirth of who we are.

I have a quote on the home page of Divorce Dazed.
It has to do with the butterfly and it says, ‘Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, he became a butterfly.’

Divorce makes us lose the person we once were (or thought we were). It thrusts us into a new persona and a new life…and not everyone is comfortable with that. Why can’t we see that it’s a chance to start over and become anew? And it might just be the best ‘us’ we’ve ever been.

Don’t give up and don’t focus on the past life you’ve lived..but look upon the new horizon and appreciate every tear, every hurdle and every struggle, because the BEST YOU is yet to come. – Truly, Amber

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Maya Angelou

National Geographic