What Every Divorcee Needs in the New Year

Posted: January 2, 2012 in divorce, healing
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Divorce can, and will, leave a large hole in a person’s life (and in their heart) which often seems as if it might never be filled.

I know this because I’ve been there before.

It was my choice to divorce my children’s father, break up my family, and walk away from a ten year marriage, and I might have been excited about the end of misery and a new beginning, but I was still very angry about the time wasted…and there wasn’t one thing I was thankful for, besides the kids.

I felt empty.

On the surface I was hopeful and motivated, but on the inside I was angry and petrified.

It took me a long time to before I realized that divorce was not the end of the world, that it was only the end of a chapter in my life.

Our lives are a series of things…

Of heartaches, heartbreaks, challenges and obstacles, which all help make us more of who we are…

Divorce is just one of those things that must be tackled, succeeded and which we can grow from.

But, to be done, one very important thing is needed, gratitude.

There were many times when I had no hope, no positive outlook, or desire to dream when I was coping with the many struggles of divorce…but I’m amazed at where I am now, how I feel, and what I have accomplished.

To heal, you must be grateful for today… tomorrow…yesterday…and everything in between.

A motto, that during my divorce, I had ordered and printed in the memo section of my checks to remind me that the tough times would pass, was: ‘Today is not forever’…You’re getting a second chance and this time it will be better.

If you are looking for ways to become more appreciative, try B.A.G., get yourself a journal (even a small flip note book), or post a few gratitude quotes around the house. Be thankful for the gift of life, the friends, family (children), and freedom of choice that you are blessed with.

If it’s bad, learn from it and let it go. 

When it’s good, no matter how small, cherish it.


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