I’m Remarried and Nothing Has Changed

Posted: December 5, 2011 in Intro

Attempting Wedded Bliss a 2nd Time

I’ve been divorced for six years but was recently re-married and since then, everyone I see keeps asking me… ‘So, how’s life as Mrs., has anything changed?’

Prior to tying the knot I continually wondered if anything would be different after the ‘big day’.

I remember marrying my first husband. I had really thought something (anything) would change. I figured we’d known each other so well that it would only get better from there and we would embark on a brilliant world of matrimony! (Boy was I wrong…on all accounts.)

We didn’t know each other nearly enough and things certainly did not get better, the marriage was blissful for a while….but not forever like we’d thought.

What is it about getting married young, or for the first time? Why is it we think things will magically and magnificently change?

We imagine things like:

  • We will become a better couple
  • We will become smarter people
  • We will become more complete human beings
  • We will become more successful individuals

None of those things change as a result of marriage.

That is fantasy.

And this is reality.

I knew what it felt like to get married already. I knew what it was like to be a bride, say my vows and…be a wife…I knew what to expect.

But, this time around, as every one of my friends and colleagues got excited for my wedding and the ‘big changes’ ahead, I played it cool….expecting something different….

I hoped that absolutely nothing would change.

And so far, as dull as it might seem, I was right….nothing has.

Things are the same as they were before we made it legal.

  • We still sometimes have the miscommunication which most men and women (or any couple) tends to have…
  • We still have very little time to spend alone together (we’re a busy family and a two income household) …
  • We still love each other very much …

And I am very okay with this!

We will endure the ups and downs that life bring and also celebrate the amazing moments….we will be learning something new about each other every day (and we are hoping it’s mostly good…but we know that it won’t always be…)

Okay- so it seems that maybe one thing might have changed this time around (possibly even two)

  1. We try harder to make it through things……..because we know what our options are….

2.  We married for the right reasons, and what appears to be the right person, and we aren’t awaiting  a magic spell to take place

Maybe second marriages don’t get the credit they deserve….


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