Another One Bites the Dust

Posted: November 2, 2011 in divorce
Tags: , ,

And I’m not referring to another celebrity couple like Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries heading to divorce court, though there surely are a lot of those.

I mean, another couple, who was dating, has ended their relationship.

So what?
It happens all the time you say?

True. It does, and it’s not unusually abnormal or tragic when a couple splits up after dating…

But the difference is, one of the parties I’m referring to had been divorced for just less than a year.

Makes me wonder.
What makes us think we should jump back into the dating scene after divorce?
And what makes us think we have to?

I was not ready at all when I began dating after my divorce. I actually did the biggest no-no, I started dating before the divorce was final. (I can hear the ooooo’s and ahhhhhhh’s now….but I hate to tell you that I’m not the only one- I am actually the majority.)

My soon-to-be-‘X’-husband was quite angry at the time, the new guy in my life soon realized he’d swallowed a nasty little pill, and we all eventually wound up heartbroken.

Dating anyone who is separated should be illegal.

Dating while separated should be illegal.

Dating anyone when your divorce is still new, is always a very bad idea…

…It isn’t illegal, but ought to be.

Too many people get more screwed up in the process.

So many divorcees feel the need to get back out there, but when they do, they find out that the dating scene has changed quite a bit, and they end up realizing (hopefully, before they get married just-out-of-the-gate to the rebound) that they aren’t ready for it.

While I certainly feel divorcee’s should eventually involve themselves with a partner again because it’s good to learn how to be in a relationship again… I do not recommend they try it until a full has passed from the  date the divorce becomes final and NEVER while they are still married…

People do this all the time and it always leads to unnecessary messiness.
I was not ready for dating, and I read books, prayed, and worked on myself in many ways during my separation. It didn’t matter, I was still not ready for the work and energy of a new relationship, the flood of emotions from a new romance, or the processing of, and the leaving behind, of the baggage.

Divorce recovery, and re-entering the dating world, is a time honored process.

No one should attempt to do it in record time.

How long did you wait to get back into dating?
How did it go?

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