Are Divorce and Marriage Synonomous?

Posted: October 10, 2011 in divorce, marriage

Why is it when I look up something on the internet having to do with divorce, say for example, divorce jokes; I always come up with jokes about marriage? And if I am searching for divorce support, I end up finding more negative digs on marriage!?

Sure, I used to knock marriage too after I got divorced.

Now that I’m getting re-married, I can’t do that anymore. And the more I think about it, it wasn’t even marriage that made me trash marriage….

It was my divorce, that made me sick about marriage. It was the guy.
It was me, it was who we were when we were together.

Oil and Water.

There are millions of other people who are perfectly happy (not perfect…but happy) in their relationships. No, it’s not always a picnic. It’s not always bright and cheery…and shame on us for thinking it would be. (That’s our fault- that’s called ‘gross expectation’.)

Even before I decided to get re-married I knew at some point I needed to stop downing couples. I knew I had to stop viewing married people negatively and stop thinking of marriage itself as an institution of straight-up-Hell. Because it wasn’t marriage that made me unhappy…it was ‘us’.

Divorce left a bitter taste in my mouth.
And, if I used marriage as a dart board for my disdain for my situation, and my ‘X’, I apologize to myself…my friends, and anyone else I may have slighted along the way, while in my stupor of hatred and regret.

With that said, I might have the answer to my question.

Maybe the negative jokes about marriage comes from those who’ve not yet healed…Not yet grown out of their anger…

Maybe it’s those who’ve tricked themselves into thinking it was marriage that made them miserable…and not the person they chose to marry, or the relationship itself.

Maybe I’m wrong…

What do you think?

What sucked about your marriage, and do you think it was marriage itself that ruined the relationship, or something else?

  1. rumpydog says:

    I think you’re very wise. Congrats on your new marriage.

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