I’m Divorced. So Why Get Re-Married?

Posted: September 14, 2011 in divorce, marriage
Tags:

I am engaged to be married.
The wedding is in about a month…
And this is a question that has been raised to me recently.

‘You’re divorced!?….
So, WHY do you want to get re-married?’

In so many words, they’d reminded that I’d already been through Hell…(meaning divorce)…
So why would I ‘consciously’ go through it again?

My answer was a blank stare, then a laugh…and then a deer in headlights look.

I don’t know why I’d want to go through that again.
Divorce sucked so bad, I’m in no rush to repeat it.
Though, I guess I should be institutionalized, since I clearly may very well be out of my mind because (here go the stats) second-marriage-divorce-rates are double what first-marriage-divorce-rates are.

After the headlights drove past…I came to a conclusion:

I’m not thinking about divorce. I’m not thinking of my unhappy marriage.
I lived there for long enough, and I don’t particularly like it there.
And, I’d actually like to think the second time around will be better, since I should’ve learned many lessons about marriage and myself. And since this time, I have realistic expectations.

We know that we aren’t heading off to ‘Happily Ever After’…because each of us already tried that , and ummm, yeah, it doesn’t exactly exist (for those who didn’t know).

This is where we think we are headed:

Sunday, October 16th, which is the next day that comes after the wedding day.
We are headed to the rest of our lives, which could very well be repetitive mirror images of today.
But we are headed to that happiness or misery, together.

I’m divorced….
So WHY get married?

Because I love him, and he drives me nutts (meaning crazy). He picks me up when I’m down, he adores me and is always there when I need him. I make him laugh, he makes me smile, and when I’m weak he is strong (and vice-versa). My children are very close to him; they love, trust, and respect him, and he is an amazing, positive, father-figure. We have lived together for two years, and if I might say so myself, we have some serious chemistry.

So, I ask, ‘Why WOULDN’T  I get married’?

31 Days and counting;)

Truly,
Amber
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Comments
  1. sheila7697 says:

    Good for you! You can’t let the rest of your life be colored/clouded by an unhappy time. And who wants to live in fear of statistics?! I have been through some relationship turmoil in the past year, and although it hasn’t been easy, we are repairing and reclaiming. We are 30 years in…doesn’t matter that we have a lot of married years behind us, it is still a work in progress!

    I’m wishing you good things and happy new beginnings for Oct 16th!

    Sheila

    • Sheila,
      Thanks so much for sharing and thanks for your positive words! 🙂 It’s interesting how eing through a divorce can do so many things to a person- both good and bad. Sadly the negative can be allowed to outweigh the positive… and that’s when we end up losing. There is so much more to life after divorce. And in some marriages there is so much more to salvage than some think.
      Thanks again! -Amber

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