Divorce is NEVER The End…
6 years ago… After my divorce, if you asked me where I’d be right now, I’d never in a million years say HERE.
but on that note, it’s also time for more change.
|1) My 3 Beautiful Children|
|2 ) The Woman/Parent I Have Become|
|3) My Amazing New Husband|
If you’re divorced with kids, you might still be battling the guilt that goes with being divorced. But, I want to let you know, you shouldn’t let it eat you alive.
First of all, it’s already done, and you can’t go back and change things.
Secondly, according to a piece written by Mary Parke regarding a research study done by CLASP (Center for Law and Social Policy), it’s possible that the quality of the parent’s relationship can be more significant in your children’s life, than divorce.
Even though I’ve always thought this was true, (hence why I left my ‘X’) it’s one of those things most people like to see in writing before they believe it…
This is what I’ve always thought:
“How could it be better for a kid (or kids) to deal with horrible repeat fights, constant underlying stress and the discord between two parents, over a divorce?” I just could never believe it was, and I worried that my children would grow up witnessing our continued mistakes then go out and repeat them…
Here’s the article:
Doesn’t the Quality of the Relationship Matter More Than the Piece of Paper?
In my own personal case, I know that this time around in my second marriage, my children see two adults dealing with our disagreements better. We are not perfect, but we do handle our disagreements better and communicate more successfully than my first husband and I did. Although I did feel very guilty after my divorce because I really thought I might be messing up my kids, I have learned that they are witnessing a much healthier relationship, and will benefit from this today, and always. Hopefully, I will help them break the cycle. (That was the goal.)
I bet you didn’t.
Unless you got onto that topic of conversation, of course.
Well, I did, and was surprised when he told me.
But should I have been?
I completely believe divorce is just one of those things that’s going to be around for as long as mistakes are….not that I like it…because I don’t…but I grew up with it, did it, and well…
This is my thought:
Considering errors have been in existence for (oh, let’s say) forever…I’m afraid that divorce isn’t going anywhere. (Unless our government decides to take that freedom away from us too.)
We are human,
and at the mercy of a powerful driving force which is not always looking our for us; our brain.
Love…and our powerhouse of a mind…
Yes, that’s right, our deep desires, our incredible love for acceptance and affection… our own ability to justify, accept, and deny problems…all actions which can lead to mistakes. Sometimes, mistakes in love.
We don’t do it because we want divorce…on the contrary, we do it because we have hope…
Another part of human nature…